


Not Alone, Not Anymore

by spicysoo



Series: Not Alone, Not Anymore [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Developing Friendships, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 18:36:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7449841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spicysoo/pseuds/spicysoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Keith has a panic attack, while Lance puts self aid buddy care training to good use.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Alone, Not Anymore

Lance was in his room, thinking about his family - his mother, his siblings, his _abuela_ \- when he had something that had almost caused him to fall out of his bed in surprise. Hearing a loud crash coming from the shared bathroom that he, Shiro, and Keith - why did he have to share the bathroom with _him_ of all people - Lance couldn’t help but frown at the sound. Especially since it wasn’t just one loud crash, but many, and none of them sounded any good. So unable to stop himself from becoming worried at the thought of Shiro or Keith, as much as he and the other were slowly becoming what Lance would call a tentative friendship, having accidentally hurt themselves, Lance found him kicking his thoughts about his family aside as he made his way to the bathroom.

Hearing a couple more crashed, almost as if one of the other boys kept on dropping things or maybe even throwing something, as well as this wheezing type of sound that had put Lance in high alert, Lance was quick to find himself voicing, “Shiro? Keith? You alright in there? I heard some crashes and I just want to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself…”

The _Keith, if it_ _’s you, then I hope it’s not much_ having gone unsaid, because as much as Lance and Keith were starting to get along a lot better than they had when they had first came to the castle, Lance couldn’t help but be a little snarky whenever it came to the other teen. While Keith, either rolled his eyes or snarked back in good jest, even if their words were tinged with the occasional ‘You’re really starting to annoy me, dumbass’ that the two would sometimes have in regards to each other. It wasn’t personal, but it was easy for the two of them to get on each other’s nerves, no matter how much the others scolded them whenever they couldn’t get along.

So skipping the usual snark, Lance moved himself a little closer to see if he could hear anything else, just in case the other was having a hard time forming words or they were performing actions that would be a cause for concern. While the person in the bathroom - Keith - was unable to answer as he felt himself get lightheaded as the walls started to close themselves around him, making it hard to breathe. Panic literally shooting through his body like a firework, causing his whole body to shake as he felt himself go into a cold sweat, Keith couldn’t help but wrap his hands around his throat as he tried to find a way to get some air. Only for some dark spots to start clouding his vision as the seconds wore on; it almost felt as if he was being suffocated to death. The fear of dying making the panic attack much worse, his previous thoughts of him being worthless to the other paladins exchanging itself for thoughts that were based on the need to survive, the need to breathe, Keith found himself slumping to his knees.

_’I’m being smothered… I can’t breathe… I’m going crazy… I’m literally losing my mind…’_

Unable to stand anymore as his vision kept on flickering and his head felt as if it was going to blow up or something similar, Keith barely heard someone tell him that they were coming in. The other’s voice filled with concern and worry, something that Keith would only occasionally hear in regards to him, it wasn’t long before the lock was being overridden so that the door could slide open to let the person behind the door in. Only for the other - Lance, not Shiro - to gasp in surprise at the sight of Keith on the floor, the other teen’s face a dark red, almost a purple color from the lack of oxygen as his body shook like a leaf, never mind the tears that were running down the other’s face like waterfalls - _Keith was crying_ \- Lance found himself springing to action. Despite the fact that this was Keith and not Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, even Allura or Coran, Lance couldn’t bring himself to limit the concern that flashed through him as he moved towards the other to help him calm down.

Falling into a crouch, mind forcing itself to be composed, yet alert, Lance found himself reminded of the self aid buddy care that Galaxy Garrison had taught him and the other students. Never mind the flashbacks and anxiety that Shiro sometimes had, even if it had never seemed to be this bad, Lance was surprisingly quick to figure out that Keith was most likely experiencing a panic attack. And while the thought had terrified him and was something that more than scared Keith since he was experiencing it, Lance couldn’t help but recall the training that he had gone through as he remembered his instructors telling him that he needed to keep the person experiencing pain or injury calm as panic could easily make things worse. So figuring he would need to do the same thing, he put his hand on the other’s shoulder and voiced, tone surprisingly clear and steady, “Keith, listen to me. You need to calm down - I think you’re having a panic attack, so you need to listen to my voice and calm yourself down, alright? I know you probably don’t want me here, but can you do that for me?”

Seeing Keith slightly turn his head back and forth, silently telling him that it was impossible for him to do that, Lance found himself gripping the other tighter. The pressure of his hold forcing Keith to understand that he wasn’t going anywhere and that he wasn’t laughing or that he saw Keith as anything less, because he didn’t. Especially since Shiro, the only person that had been given his respect within seconds of knowing him, was dealing with similar issues, so it wasn’t like Lance could fault Keith for working himself into this state. If anything, he felt guilt and concern tear through him like a lit match near a puddle of gasoline; something was wrong with Keith and he nor anyone else had noticed it.

Because if they had, they’d probably A) know about it or B)one of them would be worrying over him a lot more than usual. And with everyone acting as they’ve always done, even Shiro, who was hanging out with Pidge and Hunk at the moment, it was obvious that no one knew about this.

This could have been going on for weeks, months, or even years, and if this had been going on for longer than the time that they had all become paladins, that had really said something about how much Keith had trusted them. Even Shiro, who Keith held in high regard and if Lance had thought any deeper on it, the guy definitely had a crush on him as well - at least more than the rest of them. Lance didn’t care since guys could be awesome in their own little way, even if he had preferred girls more, but it had always been odd seeing Keith get so worked up over Shiro whenever he had thought the other was hurt or in trouble. Not like that was a bad thing, but there was always this inflection in his voice whenever Shiro was concerned that had always made Lance want to do a double take - Keith cared about Shiro and it wasn’t just friendship. So for Keith to keep this sort of thing to himself Lance couldn’t help but feel a little bad about it. Especially since he was probably one of the reasons for why Keith had kept this to himself, the environment wasn’t safe enough for him to feel as if he could talk to them about these types of matters.

But knowing that was here nor there at the moment, Lance could only try harder at trying to calm the other, because as much as he could have ran away and gotten Shiro to deal with this, Lance knew that Keith wouldn’t appreciate it. And Lance found himself pushing whatever panic that was going through his mind at bay as he continued what he was doing, “Keith, just listen to my voice and do as I say, almost as if you’re my puppet or something. Which I don’t see you as since you’d have my ass and my ass is much better than yours, but I need you to listen so that I can calm you down. Now, breathe in, yeah, just like that - nice buddy, you’re doing great, then breathe out. Then do it again, breathe in - one, two - then breathe out. Again. Breathe in… I probably sound like a broken record or something, but let’s do this again, this time a bit slower. Breathe in - one, two, three, four - then breathe out. Yes, just like that, so let’s keep doing that, alright?”

Doing as Lance instructed, even if he would have been rolling his eyes in a different setting, Keith concentrated on his breathing as he followed his friend’s count and focused on Lance’s grip. His hand warm and steady against his shoulder, Keith eventually found himself able to calm himself down. Even if the feeling of _‘You’re worthless, why are you here, why are you causing the others problems’_ he had felt earlier creeping back in. But trying to keep focus on Lance’s presence, somewhat glad that it wasn’t Shiro that had caught him like this, Keith couldn’t help but slump forward in exhaustion. His body shaking like a leaf as he still experienced the aftershocks of the attack, his core temperature starting to drop to the point where he just wanted to curl up with a blanket to keep warm. While Lance could only talk Keith through it, the other sometimes lightening the mood with a joke or two, the other kept a constant steadiness that Keith had quickly latched onto.

Lance was helping him and as much as Keith hated showing any type of weakness, Lance hadn’t called him out once. Surprisingly - maybe not so much either - Lance was handling him with a lot more care than Keith had thought he would. Lance may be a bit of dolt, but when it mattered, he wasn’t.

Letting a couple of more minutes pass until Keith’s breathing was relatively normal, even if he was still shaking a bit, Lance couldn’t help but ask, “What had brought that on?” 

Freezing at the question, not wanting to answer it, especially since the thoughts that were going through his head were still quite strong, Keith couldn’t help but shake his head. He was too tired and stressed to answer, even if he probably should. But not wanting Lance to worry anymore than he already had, Keith found himself whispering, “Nothing - I - just nothing, alright.” 

Frowning at Keith’s words, at how his voice had shook when he said them - he had never heard Keith sound like that - Lance had found himself voicing, incredulity in his voice, “It’s obviously not nothing-”

“Lance, not now… I can’t do this right now!”

_‘I can’t do this with you. I can’t do this with anyone. So drop it, please just drop it.’_

Unable to stop himself from staring at Keith’s face, taking in his reaction, Lance had almost wanted to fidget in place as he suddenly felt the need to pry, to dig until he had gotten something. Especially since he had deserved an explanation for what just happened, because it’s not every day that one of your friends has a panic attack for some unknown reason. With Shiro, it was part of his PTSD, but with Keith, who knows what brought it on. And Lance just wanted to help, because as much as he hated to admit, he was pretty freaking worried about the other teen. And Keith couldn’t just tell him nothing, but with the other also looking beyond wrecked, maybe prying at this very moment wasn’t the answer.

No one said Lance and Keith had to do this now, so refraining himself from doing anything more that could possibly do more damage than good, Lance decided they could talk about the panic attack later. And if needed, possibly get Shiro or maybe Allura involved. She may need to know about this whole thing as well, especially if it’s something that can happen again.

“Fine, but we’ll talk about this later because as much as you may want to sweep this under the rug, I’m not going to allow you to. And if not me, then maybe Shiro or something, alright?”

Wanting to groan at how responsible Lance was being, even if Keith probably would have done the same thing but with less finesse, Keith quietly nodded, “Fine, but no Shiro. He has enough to worry about without him needing to worry about me as well.”

Taking what he could get since that was all Keith was going to give him, Lance couldn’t help but give a sigh as he ran his hand through his hair. Only for the state of the room to freak him out a second later, “Holy heck, it looks like a tornado ran through here.”

Cheeks turning pink, Keith diverted his attention to the floor, shame going through him. While Lance, wanting to kick himself at the other’s reaction, was quick to amend, “It’s not a big deal, we’ll just clean it up,” only to notice how tired the other looked, he quickly backpedaled, “Or we could just write Shiro a note about things not staying in place and that we’ll deal with it later. You probably want to sleep or something and it’s not like we aren’t going to clean up this mess, we’ll just do it later, right?”

Shakily nodding, feeling a bit worse at that, especially since he had made the mess and it really shouldn’t be we but you instead, Keith quietly let Lance help him up. The other boy wrapping his arm around his waist, almost taking the brunt of his weight as the two slowly made their way to his room. The words “Thanks, Lance.” passing his lips as they walked, while Lance could only give a soft giggle, “Um… No problem buddy.” 

Allowing Lance to maneuver them until they were on his bed, Keith feeling even more tired than he had before, he quickly found himself falling to his side as his head landed near his pillow. His mind still a complete mess of  _You_ _’re an idiot, you’re an idiot, you’re a stupid idiot, making people clean up after you, when you should be taking care of yourself. You’re an adult, not a child._  Keith could only put his head in his hands, body still trembling - it had never really stopped.

Keith just hoped Zarkon didn’t attack them tonight, because he really needed to sleep this off and if he didn’t, the cycle would probably start all over again. He couldn’t let the others down because he was feeling like this, even if it was something he couldn’t necessarily stop.

He may have been good at hiding his feelings, but with Lance finding him how he had, that was going to change.  

While Lance couldn’t help but feel his heart start hurting at the sight of the other boy, at how much pain the other still seemed to be in - Who knew he’d feel like this after months of working and living with the other teen, despite claiming the other as his rival. But knowing nothing of what had brought the panic attack on or what the other was thinking about, because Keith could be an iron fortress when he wanted to, Lance refrained from wanting to shake the other until he would tell him something - anything - that Lance was quick to excuse himself so Keith could get some much needed rest.

Seeing Keith nod, the other having brought up his covers to cover his head - such a childlike gesture - Lance finally allowed himself to leave the room when he noticed Keith was going to be reasonably all right for the rest of the night. Swiftly walking back to his room to quickly write a note to Shiro about the bathroom and posting it against the mirror in plain sight so Shiro wouldn’t wake either of them up when he came back from doing what he was doing, the day’s events were quick to catch up to him.

Fear and guilt consuming him, only to give way to rationality, as thoughts like ‘ _If I didn_ _’t notice that crashing sound, Keith could have - No, it was just a panic attack, you usually don’t die from those - I got to him, I was there. He had me, which is better than him having to go through that alone.’_ ran through his head, Lance wiped his hand across his face, breathing hard. 

This wasn’t going to go away.

He wasn’t going to let Keith ignore what had happened or let it become the elephant in the room when it wasn’t. Keith needed to talk to someone and if it wasn’t him, then he could talk to Shiro, and if not neither of them, at least talk to Hunk or Pidge or someone. Keith couldn’t keep what was bothering him covered up, because it would only continue to hurt Keith more if he did so. They were teammates - friends - and Keith should be able to talk to any of them about what he’s feeling. Because as much as he had Hunk and Pidge and Shiro had Keith and sometimes Allura, Keith needed someone too. Even talking to the mice was better than keeping everything to himself!

Unable to stop himself from grumbling about Keith being too stubborn, only to feel the guilt he had felt before creeping back in, Lance knew it wasn’t just Keith’s fault, but his and everyone else’s too. Because as much they were coming together as a team, they truly weren’t there just yet.

Picking himself up from the floor, exhaustion suddenly coursing through him as his body felt sluggish and his eyes felt as if they could barely keep themselves open, Lance slowly made his way to his bed. Plopping himself down, not caring if he was still in his jeans, he pulled his blanket up to his chin as he situated himself in a comfortable position that he’d be able to sleep in. Closing his eyes, it wasn’t much longer until sleep was actually able to take hold, he thought:

_‘Dumbass… You just had to make me worry about you.’_

While on the other side of the shared bathroom, Keith could only think before giving in to exhaustion as well:

_‘Maybe Lance finding out could be a good thing.’_


End file.
